Hello Franklin High School!
I’m Doe, the advice columnist for the Prowler Press. In this column, you can find answers to your burning questions, silly and/or sassy responses, and genuine advice on occasion. Though my qualifications are limited, my imagination is not! Also, I love exclamation points so get used to it! With introductions over, here are our first submissions.
Dear Doe,
I’m in love with someone who’s dating someone else – but this person feels the same way about me too. What should I do?
– Homewrecker Inc.
Wow, that is an incredibly tricky problem. I would say that you all need to be honest with each other, and the person you’re in love with should definitely break up with their person if they feel the same about you. From there, I think a conversation needs to happen between all of you. Best of luck with all your rebuilding efforts Homewrecker!
Dear Doe,
I sit in school all day bored to death because my classes are easy and I don’t like people. Help!
– Expiring from Ennui
Okay fancy name! Today I am going to save a life! (From a painful death of boredom.) Bring things to do: read a book, practice a hobby like knitting or coloring, do online puzzles and games, the list goes on. Also, I hate to break it to you, but if all your classmates are “unlikable,” you might be the problem. They’re probably pretty interesting people! So try to change your attitude about them.
Dear Doe,
Can you give me some advice? I don’t know what I want to do after high school! There are so many options and I want to do them all. What should I do?
– Wondering about Work
To quote Shakira in the movie Zootopia: “Try Everything!” Do your research and try to shadow jobs that you’re interested in, even if it’s just for a day. You may fall in love with the job, or hate it, but at least you’ll know!
Dear Doe,
One person in my group has not participated since September. How do I summon them back?
– Ghosted by Group
Oh no! I feel your pain dude. You could try having a conversation with this person and kindly explain how you’re feeling. Emphasis on kind here! Even though you’re understandably frustrated, anger probably won’t help the problem. If this doesn’t work, going to your teacher and telling them about the situation could help. If all else fails, summon them by chanting, “cinnamon bun, cinnamon bun, sock sock sock.”
Dear Doe,
If you had to choose between receiving a carton of expired condensed milk made from the tears of your neighbor’s house or the mysterious Amazon package of the endless possibilities of time that you ordered from realwebbsite.com and came in 2 years after you finally stepped out of your comfort zone, what would you choose?
– Love, Crai g
Hello Crai g. I have a question for you. Is your name Craig or Crai G? Because there’s a big difference there. Anyways, I would choose the second option because salty expired milk sounds nasty.
Thank you to everyone who submitted a response this week! To be featured in the next edition of the Prowler Press, fill out this Google form with your questions for me: https://forms.gle/45jmNujtfms4Ts4e8. Until next time FHS!