Hello Franklin High School! Doe is back after a VERY much needed break. As I’m writing this, we may or may not have a massive snowstorm…. So hopefully my warm personality will cheer you up in this cold weather! Read on for pickles (literal and figurative), pick-mes, and people who are pooped.
Dear Doe,
Would you rather, (from a business standpoint, you will be selling the items) have one jar of pickles show up to your doorstep each day (the pickles have no label, can only show up at 1 place of residence, you must inform your customers they show up at your door, and are decent pickles) OR, be able to shoot mayonnaise out of your wrists? (The mayonnaise will taste just a little bit funky, you have to inform the customers that you make the mayonnaise with your wrists, but other than that it has no limit to the amount you can create.) Personally, I say pickles.
– THE Businesswoman
Wow. That was a lot. I love these funny random questions! I guess I’d go with pickles because wrist mayo sounds so gross and I hate the smell of mayo. I also hate pickles but I’ll take the lesser of two evils…
Dear Doe,
I’ve been in love with my best friend for a while now and I think he maybe feels the same. I’m scared I’m reading the situation wrong, but the main reason it’s so insanely cooked is because our mutual friend would be pissed at us if we dated. I don’t know what to do and I’m losing sleep over it! Heeeelp!
– Hopeless & Hopeful
Isn’t there a Taylor Swift song about this? Not sure she’s the best example but her advice is “always ruin the friendship/Better that than regret it.” Take that with a handful of salt… I also think you should have a conversation with this mutual friend and explain the situation. Surely if they’re a good friend, they’d want the best for you and the person you like!
Dear Doe,
I’m tired of waking up at 6 every day. My parents don’t even wake up that early. Surely in the adult world we don’t have to do this every day and there’s no homework.
– Sleepy Guy
My parents wake up that early… I actually just had a conversation with an adult about how I also hate waking up that early and he explained that his wife was like that too but babies and jobs change that. So just suck it up I guess. You could try going to sleep earlier to feel less tired in the morning. Also, I sure hope there’s no homework when we’re adults!
Dear Doe,
There is a girl I HATE and I’m losing my mind over it. I don’t understand why everyone likes her. She is so pick-me and constantly just searching for validation, and all of my friends fawn over her. She even admitted to being a pick-me, like I almost don’t hate her but just the way my friends treat her vs how they treat me.
– Annoyed & Agitated
To quote Elsa from Frozen, “Let it go!” You can’t control her or your friends, but you can control your feelings. And honestly, you’ve got no idea what’s going on with her at home. Maybe she doesn’t get attention & validation so she seeks it from other places. Continue to treat her with love and kindness, not hate. In the long run, that will stand out the most, regardless of whether your friends recognize it or not.
Dear Doe,
im tired are you tired im tired.
– tired :c
I second that motion.
Thank you to everyone who submitted a response this week! To be featured in the next edition of the Prowler Press, fill out this Google form with your questions for me: https://forms.gle/45jmNujtfms4Ts4e8. Until next time FHS!