Do You Absquatulate?

How do you absquatulate after a football game?

December, 2025

Mr. Faetz: I squat while breathing out.

Nevaeh De-La-Rosa: Sit there and watch.

Ms. Kiki: I go home, take a hot bath, and go to bed.

Gerryleigh Rosado-Rios: I throw a flag around.

Ms. Brooks: I get in the recliner and take me a little nap.

Gabriel Hopkins: I love to lay in my bed and enjoy life.

Ms. Dowdle: Standing at the gates with a friend.

Lass Ward: I like getting a blue raspberry slushie with nerds at Sonic.

Skylar Easter: I lay down.

Ashley Mendoza: I play my instrument and march on the field.

Haiden Austin: Sit on my couch.

Kathryn Fails: Either by listening to music or socializing with friends.

Bianca Morgan: I’m crazy about absquatulating! I love absquatulating! I absquatulate how everyone absquatulates!

Joseph Stimpfling: I streak the field.

Ms. Roper: I would NEVER do such a thing.

Layla Reeves: I fly.

October, 1971

Mrs. Leland: Sleep.

Gail Hooper: I don’t.

Shirley Brendle: Same way everybody else does.

Mrs. Winecoff: With Ronnie.

Mr. Gant: Go home and go to bed.

Mr. Fernandez: I will watch!

Mr. Bell: That word is not in my vocabulary.

Mrs. McSwain: I go home and drink a gallon of champagne.

David Gregory: Don’t do nothin’.

Mrs. Winstead: Where’s the dictionary, honey?

Lavonia Slagle: I usually do it later in the evening.

Lewis Ledbetter: The best way—with Lynne.

Lynne Cansler: The easiest way possible!

Miss Welch: I go home, take off my shoes and whatever I wore to the game, and sit down on the bed, and read a book on how I hate bands.

June Huggins: Circle the City.

Kathryn Unger: Very quietly and carefully.

Terry Fouts: Early.

Robert Hubbs: I hug up close to her and kiss her.

“Absquatulate” is a slang term meaning to leave abruptly.